Australian Ethical carps on about the high price of penguins



Australian Ethical Superannuation and Investment is pleased to announce that their holdings in Priceless Penguins Ltd (PPAFH) have skyrocketed after the company landed some of its biggest fish yet. The stocks are just another example of how much nature is really worth.

Priceless Penguins run a sustainable fishery that has trained penguins on the far southern tip of Hobart to catch fish of exactly the right size – and they’ve managed to bring the by-catch rates of the fishery to 0%. The company does, however, have to account for a 140% slippage as some of the penguins still in training do eat the fish.

Nevertheless, with demand for the penguin-caught fish on menus of the fanciest sustainable restaurants, the PPAFH stocks have waddled to the top of the stock exchange with a 140% increase in their stock price in the last month.

Head-chef Percy Pool from Happy Feet Sustainable Café says that, “The popularity of Priceless Penguins’ fish on our menu – particularly for the Ice Burger – has been krilling it compared to the other sustainable fisheries. And their impressive catch rate is a big slap in the face to some of the big fishing trawlers – I’m not squidding, it proves any fin is possible!”

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Happy April Fools Day everyone! 😉

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